Dreaming of Doubt
Hello!
Welcome to the last AP (action project) for my humanities class, Who Am I. Who Am I is based on philosophy and questioning who we are as a conscious person and an unconscious person. The unit we are wrapping up is called Doubt & Dreams, in this unit we have focused on Freud's theory of the human psyche (psychosexual development) and Erick Erickson's theory of the human psyche based upon Freud's theory (psychosocial development). We have learned about surrealism and it's connection to Freud's theory of the animalistic id, do no wrong superego and mediator ego. We also spoke to one another about dreams; we tried to deduct the reason we had the dream and what the dream was trying to tell us. I had a dream about being arrested for a murder I hadn't committed and I was quite confused by it. My partner, ALL, told me how she would be angry and try to escape if it were her dream and that she thought it meant that I was trying to act like someone that I wasn't and I was punishing myself for it.
We went on quite a few FE's (field experiences) this unit; we traveled to the St. Pauls UCC and talked to paster Matt about his thoughts on doubt in general and in religion, and what he thinks of dreams. We also talked to Daly who works at the International Museum of Surgical Science. She gave us a tour of the museum and we asked her if and where there was doubt came into play in medical science. Professor Takahashi from Northeastern Illinois University had also come to speak to us about doubt and how it correlates with Freud's theory of psychosexual stages and more of his theories. We also went on a journey with Abu Noor a converted Muslim who teaches at DePaul University. He spoke to us about his journey going into Islam and what he thinks of doubt and dreams.
For this AP, we truly had to look at ourselves as well as another culture. We were to make a dreamcatcher based on what we want to keep out of lives and what we want to pass through. We also studied where the dreamcatcher came from, here is a short excerpt from my essay:
We went on quite a few FE's (field experiences) this unit; we traveled to the St. Pauls UCC and talked to paster Matt about his thoughts on doubt in general and in religion, and what he thinks of dreams. We also talked to Daly who works at the International Museum of Surgical Science. She gave us a tour of the museum and we asked her if and where there was doubt came into play in medical science. Professor Takahashi from Northeastern Illinois University had also come to speak to us about doubt and how it correlates with Freud's theory of psychosexual stages and more of his theories. We also went on a journey with Abu Noor a converted Muslim who teaches at DePaul University. He spoke to us about his journey going into Islam and what he thinks of doubt and dreams.
For this AP, we truly had to look at ourselves as well as another culture. We were to make a dreamcatcher based on what we want to keep out of lives and what we want to pass through. We also studied where the dreamcatcher came from, here is a short excerpt from my essay:
The Dreamcatcher
According to the Ojibwe, the Spider Woman was a caring motherly like figure who protected the tribe, especially the young. In tales, she helped bring the Grandfather Sun back by making a dreamcatcher to capture the sunrise. The shape of the Circle represents the way the Grandfather Sun travels across the sky. She wanted to care for everyone in the tribe but as the migrated farther and farther away from one another she realized she couldn’t protect everyone at the same time. This is why she made the first dream catcher, to help her tribe while they slept when she couldn’t be there.She told the tribe that dream catchers filtered out nightmares and allowed only the good dreams into our minds when unconscious. Depending on where you were from it was said that either the good dreams fled past the web or that the center is where the good dreams came through. And the nightmares would perish as Grandfather Sun lay his sunlight across it. The Ojibwe are thought to respect and protect the Spider Woman and on her honer have dream catchers with eight points where the web connects to the hoop to resemble her eight legs. The Ojibwe word for dreamcatcher is asabikeshiinh meaning “spider.” The popularity of the dreamcatcher came in the 1970’s before then only the Ojibwe and a few other tribes were the only ones who made them.
Taking into consideration how much the dreamcatchers mean to the Ojibwe I wanted to make one with love and care and as accurate to the original dreamcatchers they made they made as possible.
Materials:
A wood hoop (this specific hoop is part of an embroidery ensemble)
Dark blue leather lace (around 1ft)
Dark blue string (around 2ft)
Royal purple string (around 2ft)
Yellow string (around 4 ft)
Golden string (around 4ft)
A piece of a dry tomato plant (about an inch long)
3 yellow wood beads
1 yellow plastic bead
2 orange ceramic/glass beads
2 green glass beads
4 blue stone beads
4 blue glass beads
5 blue wood beads
3 blue plastic beads
2 small white feathers
Elmer's glue (less than an ounce)
Hot glue gun
Citations
Gain, Biin, The Ojibwe Native Americans, made n/a, seen March 15, 2018
n/a Author, Ojibwe History, last revised June 21, 2000, seen March 15, 2018
Native American Vault, Introduction to the Legend, Native American Vault, made n/a, seen March 16, 2018
Waterman, Laura, and Salinas, Elaine, A Brief History of the American Indian Movement, made n/a, seen March 15, 2018
Shabi, K, Dreamcatcher Meaning: History, Legend, & Origins of Dream Catchers, Legomenon, made July 14, 2016, seen March 15, 2018
n/a Author, Ojibwe Dreamcatcher Legend, WERNATIVE, made n/a, seen March 15, 2018
Taking into consideration how much the dreamcatchers mean to the Ojibwe I wanted to make one with love and care and as accurate to the original dreamcatchers they made they made as possible.
Materials:
A wood hoop (this specific hoop is part of an embroidery ensemble)
Dark blue leather lace (around 1ft)
Dark blue string (around 2ft)
Royal purple string (around 2ft)
Yellow string (around 4 ft)
Golden string (around 4ft)
A piece of a dry tomato plant (about an inch long)
3 yellow wood beads
1 yellow plastic bead
2 orange ceramic/glass beads
2 green glass beads
4 blue stone beads
4 blue glass beads
5 blue wood beads
3 blue plastic beads
2 small white feathers
Elmer's glue (less than an ounce)
Hot glue gun
Note that this is not the correct location for a dreamcatcher, it should be above where you sleep and are most vulnerable.
Personal Explanation
Now everything that makes up this dreamcatcher has a meaning and was intentional. The middle of a dreamcatcher is where the center of a person's universe is, in my center is a piece of my tomato plant from the past summer. This little piece of my tomato plant is wrapped in royal purple string and is tied to the dreamcatcher with yellow string. The tomato plant piece though dry represents rebirth, a new dawn, and spring. It is wrapped in royal purple to symbolize the comfort of my mother as I was birthed into the world since royal purple is her favorite color. It is tied to the dreamcatcher in the yellow string because I think of happiness when I think of spring and my mother. I also included symbolism to continue the matriarchy that comes from the origins of the dreamcatcher.
The inner part of my dreamcatcher is made of both yellow and golden string and it has eight points. The string colors represent the prospect of a new day and what I want to pass through the dream catcher, good thoughts, and good dreams. The eight points give homage to the Spider Woman and her eight legs and ask her to keep me safe from bad dreams. The outer part of my dream catcher is scarcely wrapped in dark blue leather lace and string to symbolize what I want to keep out of my life: bad days, depression, remorseful thoughts, and other similar things. Though I left the inner looping of my dream catcher kind of loose and open because I understand that I cannot keep all bad things out of my life, but do wish to keep some out.
Lastly, the 6 strings holding onto beads and feathers. There are 6 strings because I live by the thought, no matter how bad the rest your week went there is always one good day waiting for you. I wanted to represent that feeling of hope through the number of string, its color, and length. The outer strings are yellow with blue beads, the string represents blissful memories. They are of a medium length to show that sometimes they seem like they're far, but that they come sooner than you'd think. There is also a mix of material in the blue beads on the string, there are glass, wood, and plastic ones. They represent in that order, utter sadness that is clear, a strong resilient sadness, and a hidden torturing sadness. The beads are in odd numbers, 3 and 5, because I feel really weird about those two numbers they often bring bad luck and feel like they weigh down my happy memories.
The second strings you see are the navy blue ones; they represent my battle with depression and anxiety. They are the longest because that's how they feel, drawn out, heavy. They have 4 beads on each string; the first has 2 green and 2 yellow ones. The green beads represent nature since I find peace in nature and it often helps get me out of a bad time. The yellow represents fragments of good things, tiny minuscule actions that make me glad that I woke up that day. The other string has 2 yellow and 2 orange beads; the yellow ones represent the same thing but the orange represents warmth. I love cool air but when your mind is frozen solid when you're fading into derealization it feels so wonderful to have warmth. You can also see a white feather attached to each string symbolizing freedom and light that are soon to come. There are four beads on each string because 4 is my favorite number; 4th grade was also the only grade I remember being truly happy in, at least until now. Finally the innermost string, it is royal purple to again symbolize my mother and how much I need and love her. On these strings, there are also 3 and 5 blue beads having the same meaning as the ones on the yellow string, but because they are on the purple one it represents how much my mother takes off my shoulders.
Erickson Explanation
According to Erick Erickson's psychosocial development chart, I am currently in the identity vs. role confusion stage (13-19 tears old). I can see why he thought that this was the appropriate stage for my age group, you can plainly see the stage come fruition in my dreamcatcher. All of the mismatch and coordination colliding with each other on the dreamcatcher show that I am confused as to what my role is, not only in the world but in the great scheme of the universe. I am also finding my identity which can be detected because I am using my favorite color which can subconsciously be affected with fitting in with everyone else. It took me a long time to finally accept my love of yellow, everyone loved blues and greens and I just went with their flow. I am finding my way in small steps starting with finding my favorite color. It's fascinating to be aware of why you're doing what you're doing without even noticing until you really look into it.
Lastly, the 6 strings holding onto beads and feathers. There are 6 strings because I live by the thought, no matter how bad the rest your week went there is always one good day waiting for you. I wanted to represent that feeling of hope through the number of string, its color, and length. The outer strings are yellow with blue beads, the string represents blissful memories. They are of a medium length to show that sometimes they seem like they're far, but that they come sooner than you'd think. There is also a mix of material in the blue beads on the string, there are glass, wood, and plastic ones. They represent in that order, utter sadness that is clear, a strong resilient sadness, and a hidden torturing sadness. The beads are in odd numbers, 3 and 5, because I feel really weird about those two numbers they often bring bad luck and feel like they weigh down my happy memories.
The second strings you see are the navy blue ones; they represent my battle with depression and anxiety. They are the longest because that's how they feel, drawn out, heavy. They have 4 beads on each string; the first has 2 green and 2 yellow ones. The green beads represent nature since I find peace in nature and it often helps get me out of a bad time. The yellow represents fragments of good things, tiny minuscule actions that make me glad that I woke up that day. The other string has 2 yellow and 2 orange beads; the yellow ones represent the same thing but the orange represents warmth. I love cool air but when your mind is frozen solid when you're fading into derealization it feels so wonderful to have warmth. You can also see a white feather attached to each string symbolizing freedom and light that are soon to come. There are four beads on each string because 4 is my favorite number; 4th grade was also the only grade I remember being truly happy in, at least until now. Finally the innermost string, it is royal purple to again symbolize my mother and how much I need and love her. On these strings, there are also 3 and 5 blue beads having the same meaning as the ones on the yellow string, but because they are on the purple one it represents how much my mother takes off my shoulders.
Erickson Explanation
According to Erick Erickson's psychosocial development chart, I am currently in the identity vs. role confusion stage (13-19 tears old). I can see why he thought that this was the appropriate stage for my age group, you can plainly see the stage come fruition in my dreamcatcher. All of the mismatch and coordination colliding with each other on the dreamcatcher show that I am confused as to what my role is, not only in the world but in the great scheme of the universe. I am also finding my identity which can be detected because I am using my favorite color which can subconsciously be affected with fitting in with everyone else. It took me a long time to finally accept my love of yellow, everyone loved blues and greens and I just went with their flow. I am finding my way in small steps starting with finding my favorite color. It's fascinating to be aware of why you're doing what you're doing without even noticing until you really look into it.
To conclude I learned so much more about the dreamcatcher, it's origin and its people. I learned about myself and things that I still have to figure out with myself. I learned to question everything, even myself. That's why I think this project could have more depth than I originally planned since some felt repetitive, perhaps I just really needed to get these emotions into something physical to let them finally go...
Citations
Gain, Biin, The Ojibwe Native Americans, made n/a, seen March 15, 2018
n/a Author, Ojibwe History, last revised June 21, 2000, seen March 15, 2018
Native American Vault, Introduction to the Legend, Native American Vault, made n/a, seen March 16, 2018
Waterman, Laura, and Salinas, Elaine, A Brief History of the American Indian Movement, made n/a, seen March 15, 2018
Shabi, K, Dreamcatcher Meaning: History, Legend, & Origins of Dream Catchers, Legomenon, made July 14, 2016, seen March 15, 2018
n/a Author, Ojibwe Dreamcatcher Legend, WERNATIVE, made n/a, seen March 15, 2018
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