The Acidity of Anxiety
Hello and welcome the conclusion of our first unit, Truth and Memory, in our Class Who Am I? This class is based on philosophy, our thought, and opinion. We have been learning about philosophers and reading the book Sophies World by Jostein Gaarder. In this unit, we focused on our truths, beliefs, memories, other's truths, beliefs, and memories, and how it impacted our lives. We also gained a lot of information on different philosophers like Plato, Socrates, Parmenides, Aristotle, and others. We had one FE(field experience)in this unit in which Katie Moody, a dog trainer, came to tell us about behaviorism, and the different methods used for training dogs and how they relate to how humans are trained. We had a lot of discussions in this unit and, not surprisingly we had a lot of different opinions on it. Which is one of the things I loved about this unit we all had thoughts we could voice with the assurance that there was no right or wrong answer!
This AP (action project) is for us to voice our truths and beliefs and in turn, find out things about ourselves. A lot of the time our truth is one we wish to not acknowledge. I learned a lot about myself in the making of this AP since I wrote about my anxiety. It was hard to talk about a subject close to home but it was a great way to move out of my comfort zone, plus it was very fun to work with audio editing. I hope you enjoy my little podcast!
Breathe...
This AP (action project) is for us to voice our truths and beliefs and in turn, find out things about ourselves. A lot of the time our truth is one we wish to not acknowledge. I learned a lot about myself in the making of this AP since I wrote about my anxiety. It was hard to talk about a subject close to home but it was a great way to move out of my comfort zone, plus it was very fun to work with audio editing. I hope you enjoy my little podcast!
Breathe...
Breathe...
Breathe...
Hello, I am GGS a freshman at GCE Lab School. I think there is an oddity about truth: you can live your whole life believing unicorns are real. This childish Truth is ruined when your surroundings tell you otherwise. The Adult Truth smacks you with facts and senses that you can’t deny… or can you? See if I get hurt with the same force as another person we can feel different levels of pain. Maybe this can be explained with a lesson on tolerance and some anatomy, but is that all there is to it? The questions kept bothering me from these thoughts are: should you trust your senses and can you control them or do they control you?
Plato, a Greek philosopher, didn’t trust his senses, as he thought they were feeding him lies. Instead, he thought that the truth lay in thought. In Plato’s famous allegory of the cave, in book 7 of the republic, he states that senses relate more to opinion than truth. That the real truth and knowledge lay in philosophical thoughts. The allegory goes that some people are chained in a cave since birth and couldn’t see anything but the shadows of objects which they believed were real. When someone was set free they go to the “above world.” Eventually, they realize that the actual objects are real and not the shadows, this is when they are “enlightened.” They go back to the cave to tell the others, but they think the person crazy, because, to the people in the cave, the shadows are their truth. Plato saw the above world as the realm of thought and the cave as the realm of senses. Boiling it down to trusting your senses means you’re in the dark and without knowledge, while when you trust your thoughts as a philosopher you reach being enlightened. Personally, my truth is influenced by people I trust, my environment, media, and social media. But I think truth is not a factual thing; truth can be anything. My definition is somewhat related to Plato’s idea that truth lay in thought, but I disagree with Plato when he says that senses are an afterthought and don’t matter.
To me, senses mean a lot. When I am in an anxiety attack I feel like I can hear everything around me. Everyone’s heartbeats everyone’s breaths. I feel like I can feel too much, like everyone's eyes are touching me. It’s scary but I don’t think they’re lies. Anxiety is in everyone; in different proportions and different levels. But when someone tells me to just calm down, or that I'm overreacting I feel like they’re telling me that I’m weak. The first time I had a horrible anxiety attack was in 6th grade; I was in the spelling bee. I had practiced for ages, and the gym was packed with an audience expecting a show. I couldn’t breathe. Everyone told me I looked like a ghost, I was pale but my blood felt like it was boiling. I was sweating, on the verge tears because I was next. I misspelled the word “gemstone,” and I sat down in the 'losers area' and stared at a wall and silently cried until I could leave. At this point in time, I thought that my anxiety would always have power over me until I went to a leadership workshop courtesy of my scholarship.
It was a two-week program; the first week was more focused on academic leadership, but the second week was social leadership. We had to do a lot of things I either before hated or didn’t have, talking to people with direct eye contact, having a firm handshake, speaking loudly, being confident. But the final test was the most dastardly thing ever; we had to write a short personal essay and perform it proudly in front of the other scholars. There were 150 teenagers in that room waiting to tear me apart, or so I thought. At first, I was very against doing this and thought I could just say a story with a lighthearted thing about myself. But my mother, supportive and stubborn as always, pushed me to actually do something I was afraid of opening up to others about my insecurities. She helped me write an essay about my anxiety and acceptance of my anxiety. She told me that if I was open about my insecurities everyone would understand and respect it. Of course, that's not what I thought, but she grew up thinking like this. A while ago I interviewed her and she told me this bit of information I found enlightening:
“We should never forget our respect to society, family, and people, the world would be so much better if we accepted every way of living, every person for who they want a be. The world would be better if we all accepted and respected everyone.”
With her words of encouragement, I went in front or that group our teenagers and told my story with tears in my eyes and my voice shaking more than a string with an elephant on it. I told everyone what I hated most about myself and I realized that it was so dumb. I can control this, I do control this, this acidic anxiety. After this speech, I was showered with hugs and thank you’s for being brave. From that point forward I never let my anxiety take over me, I accept the thoughts that it brings, but never act upon them. My hands still shake in front of people but now I can go in front of people and proudly tell them my story without crying or a shaky voice.
I encourage you to find solace in your family and friends and know that you can overpower your thoughts and still live with them. They will never truly go away and you can’t change that, but what you can change is how you perceive them.
Hello, I am GGS a freshman at GCE Lab School. I think there is an oddity about truth: you can live your whole life believing unicorns are real. This childish Truth is ruined when your surroundings tell you otherwise. The Adult Truth smacks you with facts and senses that you can’t deny… or can you? See if I get hurt with the same force as another person we can feel different levels of pain. Maybe this can be explained with a lesson on tolerance and some anatomy, but is that all there is to it? The questions kept bothering me from these thoughts are: should you trust your senses and can you control them or do they control you?
Plato, a Greek philosopher, didn’t trust his senses, as he thought they were feeding him lies. Instead, he thought that the truth lay in thought. In Plato’s famous allegory of the cave, in book 7 of the republic, he states that senses relate more to opinion than truth. That the real truth and knowledge lay in philosophical thoughts. The allegory goes that some people are chained in a cave since birth and couldn’t see anything but the shadows of objects which they believed were real. When someone was set free they go to the “above world.” Eventually, they realize that the actual objects are real and not the shadows, this is when they are “enlightened.” They go back to the cave to tell the others, but they think the person crazy, because, to the people in the cave, the shadows are their truth. Plato saw the above world as the realm of thought and the cave as the realm of senses. Boiling it down to trusting your senses means you’re in the dark and without knowledge, while when you trust your thoughts as a philosopher you reach being enlightened. Personally, my truth is influenced by people I trust, my environment, media, and social media. But I think truth is not a factual thing; truth can be anything. My definition is somewhat related to Plato’s idea that truth lay in thought, but I disagree with Plato when he says that senses are an afterthought and don’t matter.
To me, senses mean a lot. When I am in an anxiety attack I feel like I can hear everything around me. Everyone’s heartbeats everyone’s breaths. I feel like I can feel too much, like everyone's eyes are touching me. It’s scary but I don’t think they’re lies. Anxiety is in everyone; in different proportions and different levels. But when someone tells me to just calm down, or that I'm overreacting I feel like they’re telling me that I’m weak. The first time I had a horrible anxiety attack was in 6th grade; I was in the spelling bee. I had practiced for ages, and the gym was packed with an audience expecting a show. I couldn’t breathe. Everyone told me I looked like a ghost, I was pale but my blood felt like it was boiling. I was sweating, on the verge tears because I was next. I misspelled the word “gemstone,” and I sat down in the 'losers area' and stared at a wall and silently cried until I could leave. At this point in time, I thought that my anxiety would always have power over me until I went to a leadership workshop courtesy of my scholarship.
It was a two-week program; the first week was more focused on academic leadership, but the second week was social leadership. We had to do a lot of things I either before hated or didn’t have, talking to people with direct eye contact, having a firm handshake, speaking loudly, being confident. But the final test was the most dastardly thing ever; we had to write a short personal essay and perform it proudly in front of the other scholars. There were 150 teenagers in that room waiting to tear me apart, or so I thought. At first, I was very against doing this and thought I could just say a story with a lighthearted thing about myself. But my mother, supportive and stubborn as always, pushed me to actually do something I was afraid of opening up to others about my insecurities. She helped me write an essay about my anxiety and acceptance of my anxiety. She told me that if I was open about my insecurities everyone would understand and respect it. Of course, that's not what I thought, but she grew up thinking like this. A while ago I interviewed her and she told me this bit of information I found enlightening:
“We should never forget our respect to society, family, and people, the world would be so much better if we accepted every way of living, every person for who they want a be. The world would be better if we all accepted and respected everyone.”
With her words of encouragement, I went in front or that group our teenagers and told my story with tears in my eyes and my voice shaking more than a string with an elephant on it. I told everyone what I hated most about myself and I realized that it was so dumb. I can control this, I do control this, this acidic anxiety. After this speech, I was showered with hugs and thank you’s for being brave. From that point forward I never let my anxiety take over me, I accept the thoughts that it brings, but never act upon them. My hands still shake in front of people but now I can go in front of people and proudly tell them my story without crying or a shaky voice.
I encourage you to find solace in your family and friends and know that you can overpower your thoughts and still live with them. They will never truly go away and you can’t change that, but what you can change is how you perceive them.
Goodluck.
Here is the full interview with my mother if you would like to listen, fair warning it's in Spanish!
Citation
Song in interview: Cuicuitte, La Maison rose-Soliel, Free Music Archive, made February 16, 2018, seen February 19, 2018
Song in Podcast: GGS, Soft Breeze, Sound Cloud, made February 24, 2018
Sound effect: Koenig, Mike, Breathing Sound, Soundbibble, uploaded July 28, 2009, seen February 24, 2018
Sound effect: Simion, Daniel, Human Heartbeat Sound, Soundbibble, uploaded April 24, 2017, seen February 24, 2018
Podcast cover photo: Practical Cures, Anxiety, Flickr, taken November 23, 2015, seen February 24, 2018 (per request for citation PracticalCures.com)
Here is the full interview with my mother if you would like to listen, fair warning it's in Spanish!
Citation
Song in interview: Cuicuitte, La Maison rose-Soliel, Free Music Archive, made February 16, 2018, seen February 19, 2018
Song in Podcast: GGS, Soft Breeze, Sound Cloud, made February 24, 2018
Sound effect: Koenig, Mike, Breathing Sound, Soundbibble, uploaded July 28, 2009, seen February 24, 2018
Sound effect: Simion, Daniel, Human Heartbeat Sound, Soundbibble, uploaded April 24, 2017, seen February 24, 2018
Podcast cover photo: Practical Cures, Anxiety, Flickr, taken November 23, 2015, seen February 24, 2018 (per request for citation PracticalCures.com)
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